Overall, 2022 was a positive year for me but it wasn't without its ups and downs. Looking back, these are four things I learned from the past year which I want to take with me into 2023:
My body will always deserve love and kindness
I’ve been on a bit of a body image rollercoaster but I feel far more settled and comfortable in myself now than I was. Processing my relationship with my body and tuning in to how I needed to take better care of myself took time, but I am so much happier now having been able to do that.
Whether you’re experiencing a lot of stress, if you’re around people who are imparting diet culture messages, if you’re in a high or low place mentally - your body always deserves respect and care. It has seen you through every single one of your worst days, it shows up to carry you through all stages of life, therefore, it needs to be attended to with love.
That means nourishing yourself with food that allows you to feel good, moving your body in a way you enjoy, and taking time to rest when things feel too much. It’s easy to say and so much harder to do, but put yourself first. Check in with yourself and your needs in the same way you would with a friend, because your body is your friend.
It’s okay to be going at a different pace to the people around you
It can feel like there is a pressure to keep up the grind and achieve things in the same way to those around you, and honestly, it is exhausting. Maybe your friends are all in relationships and you’ve not found anybody you’re interested in or you’re not pursuing that sort of connection at the moment, maybe everyone else is working, or going out and being social what seems like all the time - whatever it is, comparing your personal journey to others is not helpful. It is okay if you are taking things at a different pace or following a slightly different road to your friends and family. Contrary to what society teaches us, we don’t all have to trot along the treadmill of life in the exact same way to achieve some limiting vision of ‘success’. If the way you are approaching career, friendships, love, your own mental wellbeing, does not mirror other people, that does not invalidate your choices or your experience. If it feels right for you, then that’s probably how you should be going.
Pursuing perfection is more punishing than it is rewarding
I worked myself to a ridiculous extent this past year doing A-levels and honestly, it wasn’t worth it. Despite my results being very good, it didn’t feel like that much of an achievement and it took me considerable time to feel relaxed and free again.
Yes, academic accolades or impressive career advances can feel great for a while, but much like pursuing the ideal relationship, a picture perfect lifestyle or the ideal body - it’s easy to get into a mindset where it’s never enough. Perfection doesn’t exist! And how tedious it would be if it did.
Teachers often tell their pupils (the nice ones do anyway) that if you do your best, it doesn’t matter if you’re not achieving the highest marks - a statement which we would do well to apply to all aspects of life. Our best is the only perfection we should be seeking.
Prioritise being around the people who bring you joy
This may sound brutal, but life is too short to be pouring your energy into relationships that are not fulfilling. It is vital to make time for the people who help you feel like the best version of yourself and who you leave feeling elevated.
Amid a lot of heavy news and difficult times, putting your happiness and pleasure at the forefront of your attention is key. We all deserve connections and experiences that are uplifting and cheerful.
The idea of ‘New Year, new me!’ can seem a bit much especially if you’re stumbling into January pissed and barely conscious of the countdown! There shouldn’t be an expectation for radical personality reform every twelve months unless it’s something you’re already inspired to put into action. Extreme lifestyle or diet changes - which are so ingrained in new years culture - usually aren’t sustainable so it seems silly that we put this pressure on ourselves for drastic newness.
Perhaps then, holding onto the best bits of the last year rather than attempting to force ambitious resolutions, is a healthier way to approach this chance for a fresh start.
However your 2022 went, whatever you achieved or didn’t achieve, I find there is always an exciting optimism that comes attached with the fireworks worth holding on to.
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